Friday, October 3, 2008

for nutritional information, call 800.242.6200

i just ate a slim jim. the small size. and i have some stuck in my teeth. so i decided to eat another slim jim to assist in removing the meat sliver from my teeth. you know, kinda like using an iron and a sheet of wax paper to remove candle wax out of carpet? same idea. like sticks to like.

it didn't work. and now i'm on my fourth slim jim cause i brought a few backups to my desk in case. i didn't really think you could eat too many at a time, but it seems four is too many. the sodium is eroding my salivary glands. my tummy is mad too. let's see how mad he gets when 3 and 4 make it down there.

i've ceased working for the day. don't get me wrong, i'm still here. at my desk. acting as though i'm working. i type a little, i read slim jim ingredients. i type some more, i get a corona. wait, let me get a corona..

(time passes)

i had some cocktails last night, and evidently i'm drinking a beer right now. that makes alcohol two days in a row. i never do that. i always take a day off. usually several, but at the very least one. been drinking more lately. bad influences, i guess. internal and external.

i still have slim jim in my teeth. i have dental floss at my desk, but mint floss goes neither with fake meat nor beer. you know, they should make beef jerky flavored dental floss. mashed potato toothpaste. red wine mouthwash.

i feel like if i'm not productive at work, everyone else shouldn't be either. so i bother them. and i try to rally them away from their tasks at hand. sometimes it works. today? not so much.

i could take the leftover falafels from lunch. and the slim jims. and make an edible tinker toy sculpture.

no, better.

the air show is right across the interstate. perfectly visible from the third floor office. i'm taking my beer and going to watch the blue angels.

1 comment:

KJT said...

Even better than beef jerky floss... BACON FLOSS!

mmmm... bacon...