Saturday, May 5, 2007

the week in review, vol 2

don't worry, this "week in review" shit ain't gonna last past this post. it's kinda gay i realize, but it's all i've got.

first of all, there's been an ongoing debate in a small circle of friends of mine. the jury's still out on it, but the male and female camps seem to be divided. here's the scenario:

say a guy lives next door from me. could be any woman, but we're using me to not incriminate anyone else. this guy recognizes me as being his neighbor, he may or may not know my name, and we've exchanged all of four sentences. he's not too kind, or too unkind to me. he's just, you know, GUY. hey, what's up? cool, see ya. typical guy mode.

if i am an attractive woman, can i go into his house, either invited or uninvited, and take advantage of him with no warning and no explanation? if there is confusion, by "take advantage of" i mean in the most adult way possible.

the women who have voiced opinion on this one have an opinion very similar to mine. i'm thinking, if it were me, what are the odds that he either a) looks at me like i'm insane, or (worse) b) kindly pushes me off as if to say, "ah, no. i don't think so."

the girls all seem to be worried about this, which is, i'm guessing, why this doesn't happen much outside of beer commercials and articles in Maxim.

the few guys who commented on this find it hard to believe that ANY man would not go along with this idea. still, i remain skeptical.


in other news, i'm having some driving issues. i hate driving. FANTASTIC passenger (we will discuss what makes me an amazing pasenger later) but i hate driving. there are many reasons for this. i have added on a few additional points to support my feelings this week.

people are starting to make their own rules in the name of politeness. it started out pretty benign, with people at 4-way stops waving people through when clearly the waver got to the stop first. but it's getting ridiculous now. i had some asshole stop traffic in the middle of a busy, two-lane road to let pedestrians across (mind you, there wasn't a crosswalk in sight - FOR A REASON.) who do these people think they are? you can't just say, "because i'm a nice guy, fuck the laws! please, go ahead. i'll inflict chaos for traffic in both directions to show what a polite driver i can be."

i hate these people. laws are LAWS. follow them. unless you are a super driver like me, in which case laws are merely suggestions.


i had a dream two nights ago that has been worrying me. i think somewhere, it's worrying freud also.

i was at a circus way out in the middle of nowhere. it was an inside circus, and it was more like cirque du soleil meets Double Dare (remember that show?) with trampolines, platforms and trap doors. however the idea of this "circus" was that they chose people from the audience to participate/compete. i participated, naturally.

and now the disturbing part: the theme of this circus was serial killers.

the idea was that a particular serial killer was chosen at random, and the "players" had to act out that killer's style/genre in the form of a reenactment type competition (which was more like an oddly acrobatic game.)

for instance, they would announce "Gacy" and the set would morph into that serial killer's theme, in this case, a colorful, abstract obstacle course of shapes and colors. there would be clowns, naturally, and some form of blood-covered knives or ligatures. the players, both employed at this circus and the audience participators, would try to complete this obstacle course faster and more accurately than the others to gain points. the losers would drop from the stage one by one through trap doors only to reappear in the next round.

i realize that makes little sense, as many dreams do when you try and explain them to other people. but interestingly, everyone involved, spectators included, enjoyed themselves.

i remember trying my best to win each event. my sister even showed up out of nowhere to compete. at the end of the competition, i was dropped through a trap door, and it lead to a hallway. after walking down it, through a door and into a room, i recognized it as Wonka's office from the famed movie (the original.) there was a half-clock on the wall, half desk, half coat rack. a circus worker, whom i'm assuming was taking on the role as Wonka due to his purple velvet suit and frizzy hair, approached me with a riddle which i answered effortlessly: "and so shines a good deed in a weary world."

i won, although i'm not sure what my prize was. but i was immediately escorted into the circus manager's office, where he told me that i was one of the best participants he had ever seen, and that if i wanted, i could start working for them as a performer in the fall of 2007 - no audition or interview necessary.

the dream pretty much ended after that. and wow, if nothing else, that signals that i need some sort of vacation or relaxation therapy.


i'm still finishing out the last of the enrgy drink trials, but at this point the frontrunners are Glaceau Vitamin Energy and Nestea's Enviga. It's anybody's game, though.

i'm sure there are a few other items i needed to bitch about, but they're not coming to me. although, during the typing of this message, i got word of a slight development in the boy-neighbor conundrum. don't get too excited, though. it's still daylight, and nothing *that* good happens until after sundown.

No comments: