Sunday, April 1, 2007

i fight authority, authority always wins

i woke up early this morning to a crazy thick fog, and the tweekers across the street having another yard sale. it's pretty much a bimonthly ritual for them, which is comforting in a way -- at least when they steal my shit, i just wait a few weeks and buy it back.

the house i live in was built in 1910, and evidently has had a few "incidents" of the paranormal kind. i didn't know this until we had an informal house meeting on my bed this morning.

i woke up at about 3:45am. correction, i was WOKEN UP at 3:45am by loud voices which i thought to be my roommates (both of whom were dead asleep.) after further investigation, the voices were coming from neither upstairs or outside. and, though all of you know i can be a bit off sometimes, they were not coming from my head (those voices don't wake me up.)

long story short, i factored in everything i heard, and all the surrounding evidence gathered over that 15 minutes in time, and it's truly something i have no explanation for. and neither does anyone else. this is hardly troublesome for them, and wouldn't be for me if i were hearing it after the fact too. as it turned out, i wasn't that lucky.

after mild panic, i got back to sleep and woke up again around 8:30 to find my roommate scott wandering around. he and amanda joined up in my room, and i gave them the short version of the events.

amanda, who has lived here the longest, shared a few past moments that both she, and other people, have experienced. none of these stories did much to calm me, but at least now i know i'm not insane. and now that i'm half expecting it, i won't be as caught off guard if and when it happens again.

in other news, i went to sunny's daughter dylan's talent show last weekend. it featured all ranges of talent from 5 to 12 years old. the highlights of which were dylan (naturally), and a 10 year old playing smoke on the water on electric guitar.

dylan is ever-adorable, though even more so as the youngest performer singing an acapella version of my country tis of thee. not to mention the complete lack of stage fright, which was awesome.

the only act that bothered me was the talent show organizer/janitor singing "jack and diane" karoke style. the act in and of itself wasn't distressing per se. but as the prerecorded music began i wondered how he was going to handle the age-inappropriate lyrics. he launched into "jacky's gonna be a football star, diane debutante front seat of jacky's car." lame, but whatever.

either oblivious, or too wrapped up in his own performance to notice, he failed to edit the rest of the song and belted out "jacky says hey diane lets run off behind the shady tree, dribble off those bobby brooks and let me do what i please" with all the confidence of barney singing "i love you, you love me".

shocked, or more appropriately scared, i sat dumbfounded and silently wished for him to do an encore of too short or dmx. he didn't.

the other oddity this week was the weather:

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sunny called me as i was driving down the 8 to school, and reported hail on her end of town. it occurred to me that where there is hail, there can also be snow. if i snows here, there's nowhere left to go but hawaii.

sure enough, as i hung up with her, i merged onto the 805 and drove right into my own personal hail storm, as if it was there just to support sunny's seemingly far fetched story.

when i was 6, there was a record-breaking hail storm in fort collins. my mom had run outside, risking serious injury, to make sure my sister, who had already begun walking home from down the street, came home safely. she ordered me to stay in the house, so being 6 years old (and better yet being myself) i followed her outside. i woke up about 5 hours later after being clocked on the head with a softball sized hail ball. i officially blame that incident for my poor decision making, particularly regarding the men i have dated.

other than that, the week has been busy, and the weekend wasn't nearly long enough. but i've gotten a ton done today, and still have some items lined up. and no, i don't plan on going shopping across the street to buy my neighbors stolen goods. last yard sale they had a used (VERY used, by the look of it) bin of playboy magazines. i'm holding out for something better. ain't i always?

a conversation i actually had:

claudia: hey, my stepdad thought you were really hot dressed as pink last week.

me: oh really? does he..? oh, never mind. i'm assuming since he's your stepdad that he already has a girlfriend.

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