the big sleep

i am tired. so tired.

the weeks following christmas were blurry, washed in a nyquil coma and too much and not enough happening.

i'm finally free of the cold and trying to assemble 2009 into a workable year. i still don't have a job, a home, or any certainty that things are going to go right. but i am calmer, more organized, and a bit more optimistic than i was at the end of last year.

i have had so many little things transpire, but nothing coherent to write about. it's something like looking through your fridge and cabinets, and having lots of little items that go with certain things - too much, actually - but not enough to make a single decent meal. or blog, in my case.

and i don't necessarily have one today either. but the last few nights, sleep hasn't come very easily despite how exhausted i am. i just lay there and think of what i have, what i don't, what i want, what i need, etc. i figured putting something down here might steal the last breath out of me so that i can sleep immediately when my head hits the pillow.

i'm traveling to guerrero negro tomorrow. if you're looking at a map of the baja peninsula, it's about halfway down the pacific coast where the the shore makes a backward "c" shape. my dad, the bird biologist, has requested my help (which isn't entirely accurate - there will be other biologists there from different countries) finding a certain species of bird he tracks and help put those fancy little bracelets on (though nowadays, they get neat little radio transmitters attached to them. such a great fashion accessory!)

i don't know that there's much down there, aside from salt pools and mexican beer. but i will take photos and blog some if we actually get internet service (i'm crossing nothing at this point.) it's a good 10 hour drive over the border, so i'll be elated if we make it, much less have amenities.

i've let go of a lot of things the last weeks, and i plan to continue the release for the next 10 days. i have packed a journal, hiking boots, and some sunscreen. i'm sure they'll have bottle openers down there..

winter

this one sounded different this morning.




"..your name is the splinter inside me.."